


Choosing Reality- Sequel to I Still See You

by orphan_account



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe- after life, Fluff and Angst, It's a Sequel!, M/M, Some real sad shit yo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-13
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-14 20:46:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7189562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Dan left this Earth behind, he was reunited with Phil. In this afterlife, they get to live the life they could have had, if Phil hadn't died. </p>
<p>In this paradise, life is perfect. Dan's schizophrenia is gone. Dan and Phil's children live happily, and there is nothing to complain about. But then Dan is faced with a choice.</p>
<p>He can choose to have this perfect life he has gotten to re-live with Phil become the reality, and Dan's life with Peter be gone forever.</p>
<p>Or he can allow his life with Peter to continue to be real, and his life with Phil be only a memory, and it all be gone forever.</p>
<p>Dan holds the choice of his reality in his hands, and whatever he chooses, he will be losing something he doesn't want to lose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Phil's POV

We stood on the balcony of our house, looking at the fields that spread out before us. I was holding Dan's hand in mine, allowing the breeze to mess up our fringes, but we didn't care. We were along, and in paradise. Literal paradise.

Our home was in the country, just half and hour away from the city. I mean, if it can be properly be called a "city" and "country" since we are in Heaven. Or whatever it's called here. I've spent years and years here, yet I've never learned what this place is called. I just know that I'm dead, and this is the afterlife. Quainter than I thought it would be. Prettier, too.

Dan and I had always talked about one day getting a house outside of London, a place with land. When we got married, and we would raise our kids away from city life. And now we have our dream home. 

I waited years upon years upon years for Dan to come to me. It's not like I necessarily wanted him to die, but I missed him. While I was waiting, I found my family who had passed. An old friend. People I had missed, but I was waiting for Dan. 

I turned and looked at him, his eyes closed, enjoying the breeze. And, for the first time, enjoying a schizophrenia free life. No more hallucinations, and no more voices; he was free forever. 

I always said I wouldn't change him, but I do like this Dan a bit more. He's happier, and not as scared. And a happy Dan makes a happy Phil.

Dan opens his eyes, looks at me, and smiles. "What're you thinking about, lion?"

"How happy you are. And how free. And how happy I am."

I pull him into a hug, and kiss him. "Love you, too, Danosaur."

Dan tightened the hug. "For so long, I never thought I'd hear you call me Danosaur, again."

And I enjoy the perfection. Because it will never end.

Because we are in paradise.

Never ending paradise.


	2. Peter's POV

I sat in my recliner, reading a book like I did every Saturday morning. I thought about Dan, like I did every morning.

Where is he now?

Does he like it?

Can he see me?

Is he with Phil?

Will he forget about me?

Ever since Dan died a year ago, things have been kind of lonely here. For three months after his death, our home used to be filled with his laughter and our joking back and forth, it is filled with silence. Kayla and her daughter, Lily, came to live with me after her husband left her for another woman. 

I love having them here; I love hearing the laughter of Lily. I love when she comes home from school, and runs to me to tell me about her day and her friends. She's a spitting image of her mother- she looks just like Kayla did at five. 

"Morning, Dad." I look up to see Kayla walking into the living room, coming to sit on the couch. She looks like she just woke up.

"Good morning, Kay. Lily still asleep?"

Kayla nodded. "The kid sleeps like a rock. What're you reading?"

I hold up the book so she can see the cover. "Dad Dan's favorite book..." she mutters. "Do you miss him, Dad?"

I smiled. "Every day, kiddo. But now I can think about him with less sadness than a couple months ago."

Kayla closed her eyes and smiled. "I miss him, too. I wish Lily could have known him better. I wonder what he's doing right now?"

I smile thinking about what Dan is probably doing with his free time now, wherever he is. "Probably frolicking with a field of llamas. You know how much he loved those animals; when we newly weds, he tried to convince me to move out in the country so we could raise llamas."

Kayla laughed. "Are you serious? What did you say?"

"I said absolutely not. Llamas spit, and they take too much work to take care of, and do you really think we're responsible enough to take care of them? But then when we adopted Philip, I was saying the same thing, minus the spitting part. But Dan, he proved me wrong. He was a great father."

"Was it your idea or Dad Dan's idea to adopt four kids?"

"Well, I wanted a second kid. Then Dan wanted a third. After that, we both realized we didn't have a daughter, and said let's adopt a fourth kid, a daughter. And we adopted you. Luckily, we were friends with Louise, so we had some advice with how to raise a girl."

Kayla gave me a sad smile. "I miss Louise."

"Me too, Kayla."

"Dad, do you think Dan is thinking about us?"

"I hope so."


	3. Dan's POV

I was cuddling with Phil on our sofa, watching a movie when the door bell rang. "Phil, you wanna be the best boyfriend ever and get the door?"

Phil answered by getting up, and opening the door. "Dan, it's for you."

I got up to see a young, blonde haired boy standing at the door, holding a piece of paper.

"Dan Howell?" He asked, looking at me.

"Yeah?"

He handed me the paper. "The Judge wants to see you at noon today. Be sure to be there on time. He doesn't like to be kept waiting." The boy then left.

I held the sheet of paper, scanning it. It had directions on how to get to the courthouse. It also told me to present the paper at the entrance.

"Um, Phil?" I asked. "Who's The Judge?"

Phil held my hand as we made our way back to the sofa. "I'm not entirely sure. I've only met him once, and that was when he told me that you were coming here, and where I would find you when you arrived. I think he's kind of like the ruler of this place. But not a ruler, really. You'll know when you meet him. It's hard to explain."

I set down the paper on the coffee table, and went to go and get ready. The entire time I was showering and getting dressed, questions ran through my head. Who was he, what did he want? Did I do something wrong? 

At 11:30 I headed out. "Phil?" I called. "I'm leaving. Love you, Lion."

"Love you, too, Dan."

I walked for fifteen minutes, reaching the courthouse which was on the edge of town. I had never understood why there was a courthouse; after all, we were in a place where everything was perfect. Now I understood.

There was a guard standing at the gate, and I walked nervously up to him. "Hi, um, I'm Dan Howell. I was told to come here at noon?" I handed him my paper.

He looked it over, and opened the doors. "Straight ahead, the last room at the end of the hall. Knock before going in."

I thanked him and walked down the long hallway, looking around as I walked. It was beautiful inside; marble floors, a large, crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling. I reached the large double doors at the end of the hallway, and knocked on the door.

"Come in." I heard a loud voice from within yell.

I pushed open one of the (very heavy) doors, and saw who I presume was The Judge sitting at a desk. He had dark brown hair, and old looking face, but very kind looking grey eyes. 

"I, um, I'm Dan Howell. You asked to see me?" I stuttered awkwardly, still standing just inside of the doors.

The man smiled. "Yes, welcome, Daniel. Please, come sit." He motioned to a chair in front of his desk.

I walked over and sat down, fidgeting with a loose thread on the sleeve of my jumper. "Oh, I was told to give you this paper when I came in." I handed him my summon papers.

He smiled and accepted the paper, placing it in a drawer. "Now, Daniel, how do you like it here? Are you happy in my land?"

I was surprised at first; I thought I was in trouble, not here for small talk? "Oh, I like it very much. It's perfect here! My schizophrenia is gone, I'm with Phil. It's paradise. I have nothing I could possibly complain about."

He gave a sad smile. "Good, very good. It is actually partially on the subject of Phil that I wanted to speak to you today."

"Did Phil do something wrong?"

"What?" The Judge looked surprised. "Goodness, no. This is really about you, but Phil has to do with it, that's all. Back on Earth, you were married to a man named Peter, correct?"

I nodded. "Yes, we had four children together. 

"Well, here in this paradise, you are living with Phil. And here, you will get the opportunity to live the life with Phil that you could have had had he not died."

I smiled. "That's all I ever wanted. To know what life with Phil could have looked like."

"Another things you will notice is that you will not age beyond the age you are now."

"I have no complaints about that."

The Judge chuckled. "Yes, I'm sure. There is one thing, however, and this is why I have called you here today. Peter will not live forever. One day he will come here, when he dies. And when that happens, you will have to choose."

I felt my stomach drop. "What do you mean, I will have to choose?"

He sighed. "While you are here, like I said, you get to live the life you could have had with Phil. When you reach what would be your eighty-sixth birthday, you will have to make the choice. Your life with Peter, or your life with Phil. Whatever you choose, it will become, or remain, reality."

I had a horrible feeling. "And what happens to the other?"

"It vanishes. Forever. It will only live on in your memory. Yes, Peter or Phil will remain here, in paradise, but they will no longer be a part of you."

I couldn't breathe. This, the life of people, reality itself, was in my hands. It was being given to me. I didn't know if I could bare it. "So, what about on Earth?"

"If you would choose your life with Peter, things would remain as they have been. But, if you choose your life with Phil, everything that happened with Peter on Earth will be replaced."

I was angry at this point. "You mean to tell me that I have to choose between Phil, who was my soul mate, and Peter, who became the love of my life?! This is ridiculous! How could I possibly choose?!"

The Judge folded his hands in front of him. "Now, Daniel, I understand why you are angry. This is a very tough decision, but keep in mind you have 60 years to think about this, to make the best decision."

"Yeah, well what about Peter? He's not going to live for 60 years!" 

"Time passes differently here than on Earth. It will feel like 60 years to you, but by the time that passes, it will only be a couple years on Earth."

"Well, explain to me how I'm supposed to tell Phil?!"

"I highly suggest you don't tell Phil. I know you need some time to think, so you may leave, if you would like."

I thanked him, and walked out. 

How could I not tell Phil? Maybe he could help me.

But how could I tell Phil? I mean, what was I supposed to say- "Hey, Phil, guess what? I get to choose reality! I get to choose whether this life we're living is going to be real or just a memory of mine! Could you help me choose between you and Peter, love?"

I realized, that I have to do this all on my own.

This decision, is mine to make.

Mine, alone.


	4. Phil's POV

I was flipping through a book when Dan came home. "Dan? I'm in our room." I yelled.

Dan came in and flopped on the bed, putting his head on my shoulder. I put down the book and cuddled into him more, allowing his head to rest on my chest. I played with his hair. "How'd it go?"

Dan closed his eyes and sighed; he seemed upset. "It was okay, I guess."

"What happened?"

"Uh, I'm sorry, Phil. He told me I shouldn't talk about it."

"Oh." I say, still playing with Dan's hair. "It's okay, then. I guess most of what the Judge calls people in for is personal."

Dan just nods and rolls over so that he's laying on his side. After ten minutes, I hear his steady breathing, telling me that he's asleep. I gently move his head onto his pillow, and turn off the light in our room, and I tiptoe to the lounge to continue reading.

***

"Mmfffpphh, Phiiil." I turn my head to see Dan grinning at me the next morning. I giggle at how adorable he looks; his hair curly and sticking up everywhere, eyes still half-closed. I kiss his forehead.

"Morning, babe."

"Phiiiiillll." Dan whines.

"Whaaaaaaaat?" I whine back.

"Wanna make me coffee?"

I laugh and swing my legs over the side of the bed, and wander into the kitchen, turning on the kettle. I hear Dan getting up, and he comes into the kitchen, barely awake.

He wraps his arms around my waist, and rests his head on my shoulder. "Wow, you're affectionate today." I laugh.

I hear Dan give a heavy sigh. "I love you."

"Love you, too. But, Dan, what's wrong?"

I felt him shake his head against my shoulder.

"Dan. I know you said you can't tell me what happened with The Judge yesterday, but can you at least tell me anything? You're so upset, and I wanna know why."

Dan pulled away, and I turned around to look him in the eyes. "Baby, tell me what's wrong."

Tears fell down Dan's face. "I-I can't, Phil. I can't tell you. Not because I don't want to, but I just can't."

I pulled him in for a hug, rubbing his back as he clutched my back, still crying. "I love you, Danosaur. It'll be okay, I'll do my best to help you through whatever's bothering you.

"I love you, too, Philly."

 

Dan's POV

I can't tell him.

How could I?

I would be cruel to tell him, wouldn't I?

But how do I solve it without him?

How can I possibly choose?

I thought I was supposed to be in paradise.

Guess not.


	5. Kayla's POV

I parked my car and got out, looking at the cemetery before me. I was going to visit Dan's grave, and talk to him like I sometimes did.

Dad Peter told me that Dan used to go to Phil's grave and talk to him after Phil died. Apparently, Dan's hallucinations of Phil still continued for a while even though he knew Phil was dead. It didn't make sens to me- but then again, I wasn't schizophrenic. What right did I have to try and understand? 

I walked through the maze of the headstones, searching for Dan's. I found it and set down the flowers I had brought with me. I sat down, my back leaned against the headstone. It was right next to Phil's, with room reserved on the other side for Dad Peter's grave.

I didn't like thinking about that.

"Hey, Dad." I whispered. "I've missed you a lot lately. I think about you so much."

Tears trickled down my face. "Lily's doing good. She started school this past year. She really likes it- she said she wants to play piano." I choke back a sob. "S-she said it's because you played piano, and she wants to be just like you, because 'I wanna be the memory of grandpa Dan.'"

I wipe my face with my sleeve. "We all miss you, Dad. Philip, Peter, Dan. We all miss you so much. I-I just wish you could come back to us."

I stayed for a an hour more, before heading home. I would have spent all day there if I could have, but I had to pick Lily up from school. 

Just as I was about to pull into the school, I got a call from Lily's teacher. "Ms. Howell- Ivanov? You need to come into the headmaster's office when you come to pick up Lily. Don't worry- she's not in trouble." 

Despite the teacher's reassurances, I was still worried. I got to the school as soon as possible. I parked and went inside, and saw a very sad looking Lily sitting in the headmaster's office, along with two other girls her age, and two sets of parents. 

"What's going on?" I demanded. "Why is Lily crying?"

"Please take a seat, Miss Howell- Ivanov. We're here to discuss it." The headmaster told me. I reluctantly sat down.

"Well," he began. "We've had a case of bullying during the class' recess today. These two young ladies," he says, gesturing to the other two girls, "Were making very rude comments about the fact that Lily has gay grandparents. They also pushed her to the ground."

"WHAT?!" I demand. "Please tell me there is some kind of punishment!"

"Of course," the headmaster responds, as if offended by my question. "These girls were made to apologize, and will have to sit out of recess for the rest of the week."

I just stared at him. "You must be kidding. It's Wednesday. You mean these girls physically hurt my daughter, and they only have to say 'sorry' and sit out of recess for two days?"

One of the mothers cuts in. "They are only in kindergarten. What are you expecting?"

"I don't know!" I snap. "I'm not the idiot headmaster who should come up with these things."

The other mother speaks up. "These children deserve not even the punishment they are getting. Your parents are dirty sinners, and your daughter and you should know this."

That was the last straw.

I got up and took Lily by the arm, and looked at the headmaster. "Lily will not be returning to this school." I walked out to the car. 

Lily got in the backseat. "Mummy?"

"Yes, Lily?"

"Thank you for not making me go back."

I almost slammed on the breaks. "What?"

"People are mean to me a lot. I didn't like it there."

"Don't worry, Lily. You'll never have to go back."

Dad Dan, I though. What would you have done in this situation?


	6. Dan's POV

Days, weeks, months passed in that place.

I loved every second in this afterlife, every second with my happy little Phil. But there was always a thought in the back of mind: you're gonna have to choose, you know. 

Shut up, I told my brain. 

On my year mark of, uh, death I guess, Phil and I were going out. "To celebrate the return of my soul mate to me!" He had said excitedly when he told me the plan.

I was just doing a last minute fringe check, put on my jacket, before poking my head in the bathroom. "Ready, Phil?"

Phil smiled at me and came out, interlocking his fingers in mine. He was wearing a red plaid shirt, and the red made his eyes stand out. "Sure am."

We enjoyed a peaceful stroll into the town, where we stopped at what had become my favorite restaurant. It was called the "Everything Restaurant" because it had everything. Literally, everything you could possibly want. I always ordered Chinese with fries on the side. Because I could.

It was crowded, but Phil had made reservations, so we were seated pretty fast. 

While we were waiting for our food, Phil reached for and held my hand across the table. "I want to talk to you about something, love."

"Yeah, Phil?"

"So, uh, I was thinking a lot lately." He seemed nervous. "How would you feel about maybe, uhm, adopting a kid?"

I almost started jumping in my seat. "Oh my God, Phil! Of course! I was wanting to ask you, but I wasn't sure if you ready for that!"

Phil laughed. "That's why I waited, too. I mean, I knew that you had kids on Earth, but I wasn't sure if you were ready just yet."

The rest of dinner was spent excitedly discussing our plans. Where would our future child sleep? Boy or girl? Both, maybe? What would we name him or her? What are even going to be like as parents?

"Striker." Phil said, in a very serious tone. "We should name our son Striker. I love that name. Or Philgon. Like, my name and dragon combined."

I bust out laughing. "Phil. We are not naming our child Striker or Philgon. How about something just a little more normal?"

"Like Thor? OH what if we adopted two kids, and named them Thor and Loki?" Phil was basically squirming in his seat like a little kid.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh my God, okay, maybe Thor, but we are not having two kids and naming them Thor and Loki."

We talked and laughed for a long time after we finished dinner, and one of the waiters actually had to come and kick us out because they were closing.

We took a walk through the town, gazing at the beauty around us. When we had arrived home, we stood out in our backyard, taking everything in. A cool breeze was blowing around us. making me shiver a bit.

Phil pulled me in for a long hug, and kissed my forehead. "I love you, Dan. I'm so glad we're getting to live this life, the on we never had."

"I love you, too, Phil. And me too, me too."


	7. Phil's POV

"So, how exactly do we adopt kids here? Where do they come from?" I ask the lady who was across the desk from Dan and I. We had put in our application for adoption a couple days after we talked about it over dinner, and now eight months later after a lot of interviews and inquiries, we were approved. 

"Well, these children were either orphaned or died before birth. With the exception of children that died before birth, who come here as newborns, these children are here as the same age as when they passed away on Earth."

Dan smiled and squeezed my hand. I knew he was so excited. The lady, whose name was Janice, passed four folders to us across the desk. "These are four children we believe would work well with both of you."

The first folder contained a picture of a new born, no name because we would get to choose a name, and some basic information. He was very tiny, and was a quiet baby. He had bright blue eyes and he looked like a very inquisitive baby. 

"Dan! He looks kind of like the baby pictures I've seen of you!" And he did, he looked exactly like a baby Dan.

Dan picked up the picture to look at it. "And his eyes look just like yours! He looks like a perfect combination of us! Like he was meant just for us."

We looked at the other folders, but we knew that the first baby was ours. Meant for us. We told Janice, and she said she would get back to us as soon as possible. 

A week later, we got to be called into the home where our son was being taken care of. Janice met us there, and the foster mom smiled and hugged both of us. "Come, I'll lead you into the baby's room."

We walked to the back of the house, to see him laying in the crib, playing with a mobile. My heart melted when I saw him. 

"Do you want to hold him?" The foster mom asked me. I nodded, and took the baby in my arms when he was handed to me. He cooed and made cute baby-noises and gripped my finger with his hand. 

I looked at Dan. "Wanna hold him?" He nodded, and accepted him, and I saw him tense up when the baby touched his neck. At least he didn't drop the kid. 

The baby snuggled into Dan, and I saw tears come to Dan's eyes. He looked at Janice. "When do we get to take him home?"


	8. Dil's POV

"Daaaaaaads!" I whined, running to hop on my dad's bed. "Dads! Wake uup!" I shook Dad Phil trying to wake him up. 

"Hmmm? What is it, Dil?" I saw him look at me sleepily. 

"Christmas!" I screamed. "It's Christmas! Wake up, wake up!" 

Dad Dan rolled over. "Not yet, Dil. Just another hour..."

I frowned and sat down in between them. I poked Dad Phil's cheek. "Daaaad, please?"

I saw Dad Dan turn to look at Dad Phil. "Why so early?" I heard him whisper.

"Dan, he's six, what do you expect? I know for a fact you were the same way." I heard Dad Phil whisper back.

"Okay, Dil, let me and Dad Phil get some coffee, and then we can start Christmas." Dad Dan sat up.

I jumped up and hopped off of their bed. "YAY!" I squealed, running to the kitchen. A minute later, both my dad's came out sleepily, and I waited impatiently while they turned on the coffee maker.

I tugged at Dad Phil's shirt. "Can I have chocolate milk?"

He laughed and said yes, and soon enough we were sitting in the lounge, dads with mugs of coffee, me with chocolate milk in my favorite Winnie the Pooh cup. 

"Okay, Dil, start with your stocking." Dad Dan handed me my stocking, and I eagerly opened it, getting excited over all the little gifts inside.

I loved every gift, getting excited with everything I opened- I got everything I wanted, and I impatiently waited for everything to end so I could play with it all. Finally, we were done, and picking up all of my new toys, I sprinted back to my room, as my dads laughed at my eagerness.

Soon enough, the smell of chocolate pancakes filled the house, and I walked into the kitchen, following the smell. We all had breakfast, and Dad Phil put on Christmas music, which we all sang along to.

We had a great day, we watched movies and made Christmas crafts, and ate good food. 

I love my dads. I'm glad to have them. I sometimes feel like I remember another place...

Another time...

But none of it matters. I have the best dads ever, and I have everything I could ever want here. Who cares about the other place I don't remember?

Dad Dan and Dad Phil came into my room to tuck me in that night. "Goodnight dads."

"Goodnight, Dil," Dad Phil said, giving me a hug.

"Love you, Dilly." Dad Dan said, turning off my light, and closing my door.


	9. Lily's POV

was laying on my best friend, Alyssa's bed, watching as she was picking out clothes for school tomorrow. Alyssa was Darcy's daughter, and apparently we were the third generation of friends; our parents had been best friends, and Grandpa Dan was good friends with Darcy's mum, Louise. 

"I really wish I could still go on the France trip. I mean, I'm president of the French club, I should be the first one going! And I know we could afford it and ugh." I sighed, hugging Alyssa's pillow pet. Mum had wrote a book two years ago, and it became incredibly successful almost overnight; she's just published a sequel, and a movie was in the works. It made me incredibly popular among the other 14, 15, and 16 year-olds in my school, not that I really cared. I liked my little group of friends.

Still holding the shirt she was considering, Alyssa turned and gave me her "I'm about to lecture you," look.

"Lil, it's kind of your fault, you know. Your own bad decisions got you here. And it's not about the money, you know that."

I glared at her, and closed my eyes. "I can't wait to get to sixth form, maybe then it'll all blow over with a new school and new people."

Alyssa came and sat on my bed. "Yeah, probably. Lily, you know I love you, but you really fucked things up."

"I know."

Last month, some guy I had been crushing on invited me to a party.

And when I say "party" I mean, a crazy party in which people are drinking and smoking weed.

And I gave in.

And when I came home high, Mum was angrier than I've ever seen her in my entire life. The whole school knows, and since they have a "What you do outside of school can get you in trouble in school" policy, I'm not allowed to go on any trips with the school. 

Everything has just seemed so bad lately. Mum's rarely home now, since she's been invited on the set for the movie adaptation of her book so make sure the book is properly adapted. When she is home, she's writing nonstop.

Mum never remarried, and it's like living with a ghost, especially since we got our own apartment and stopped living with Grandpa. And I can't just tell Mum to stop working and spend more time with me. She has fans and readers eagerly awaiting her book.

I hung out with Alyssa as much as possible, but I couldn't be at her house all the time. 

So I started doing what Mum used to do apparently.

I went to Grandpa Dan's grave and talked to him.

I don't remember him too much, I was really young when he died, but Grandpa Peter told me that Dan used to go to Phil's grave and talk to him. Guess talking to dead people runs in the family. What an odd thing to have in the family. 

I told Grandpa Dan all of the things I never told anyone else.

How I truly feel about myself, the hate and the anger.

How I'm afraid that my friends- with the exception of Alyssa- only use me because of Mum.

Who am I in this world? What purpose do I have? What am I going to do with my life?

My worries, my doubts, my fears, I tell them all. 

An the worst and scariest thought I have:

"Grandpa Dan? I think, I'm scared, I may have schizophrenia, too."


	10. Dan's POV

"Dan! Someone's here for you!" Phil called from the front door. I set down the book I was reading and went to go and see who it was. The same man that had summoned me to The Judge years ago (or was it really years ago? Dil's getting older, but I'm not. So is it really years, or does it just seem like years? What a thought- it could give anyone an existential crisis) held out another piece of paper to me.

"The Judge would like to see you in an hour, present the paper to him at that time." Then he left.

I looked at Phil and shrugged. "I have no idea what's going on. You can pick up Dil from school, right?"

Phil said he would, and I went to take a shower and get ready. I wasn't sure what this was all about- maybe The Judge needed to speed up my choice? That was a horrifying thought.

I finally got going into the center of town, pushing open the large double doors like I did so long ago, it feels.

The Judge was once again sitting at a desk. "Daniel! Yes, come in, come in!" He said, beckoning to me. 

I walked in, and setting the paper on his desk, sat down in a chair in front of the desk. "Uh, are things okay?"

He chuckled a bit. "Yes, don't be so worried, Daniel. I have what could be good news, actually. You see, you've been here long enough, that you qualify for the ability to receive what we call, 'words from the living.'" 

"Uhm, what?" I asked, completely confused. 

He pulled out a stack of papers. "Whenever your family members on Earth speak to you directly, we collect their words, for you to read. As often as twice a week, you can come and collect these letters. We like for you to have some connection with your family."

I accepted the papers when given to me. "Does, does Phil get these, too?" I ask carefully.

The Judge gave me a slightly sad look. "It's been a long time since Philip died. He used to, but no one speaks to him anymore."

"Oh..."

He smiled at me. "Don't worry about Phil being upset. He understands." It was like he read my mind.

I thanked him, and walked home, reading the letters as I went. 

Words from Peter, from Kayla, Phil, little Peter, and Daniel. 

But the last one got to me- it was from little Lily. She's 15 now, and her last words to me broke my heart.

"I think I may have schizophrenia, too..."


End file.
